Thursday, November 26, 2015

My Favorite Thanksgiving Recipe: How to Turn Anxiety into Peace

by Danetta Kellar

My husband is a mathematician, and he loves formulas. This became apparent early in our marriage, when my need to verbally process met his need to fix. I would pour out my anxiety to him (translation: please just listen and let me vent, then I will be fine and move on), and he would freeze up and begin to give me quick, formulaic solutions to my problem (translation: she is upset, I want to help; let me fix it in the most sensible and efficient form possible). The result was not exactly peace and love. I did not want to be fixed. And he wanted an easy formula.

Over time we learned much more about each other’s personalities and needs, and we came to understand one another better. He understands now that when I need to vent, I do not need a formula or a fix. There are times that I do want him to fix it and he has actually refused (very healthy in a marriage to protect against co-dependency, by the way), which has forced me to take care of my own solutions and grow more responsible for my self-care.

However, there are times in our lives when we really do wish for an easy recipe to make our anxiety go away. 

Thursday, November 19, 2015

When Your Enemy is Too Strong For You: The Senselessness of Thanksgiving

by Danetta Kellar

He sent from on high, He took me; He drew me out of many waters. He delivered me from my strong enemy, And from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me. 

They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the Lord was my stay. He brought me forth also into a broad place; He rescued me, because He delighted in me. -Psalm 18:16-19. A thanksgiving psalm of David after God delivered him from all his enemies. 

I once watched someone drowning. I was a little girl, standing on the lake shore. A woman paddled out to the deep and began to bob up and down. I did not understand at first that she was sinking, until she began to cry out. As a man rushed past me into the water, I stared while her head disappeared beneath the dark green lake. I was frozen in terror and helplessness, for I had not yet learned to swim in deep water. I knew I could not save her. Her rescuer reached her in time to save her life. He brought her back to the safety of the shore, of oxygen, of life.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Hug Me Longer: The Interruption of Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving interrupts our busyness for something better.
by Danetta Kellar

I woke up an hour before the rest of the family to a house so inky dark I could not see my hand in front of my face. My husband mumbled from the cozy mountain of warm blankets, “What are you doing up so early?”

“I have a lot to do today,” I replied.

I had gone to sleep the night before mentally running down my list of things I had to accomplish the next day, dreamed about doing them all night long, and jumped out of bed at the first alarm so I could get a head start. An hour and a half later, I was well on my way at the speed of Wonder Woman on her way to save New York City.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Look Up and Pour Out: The Beginning of Thanksgiving

by Danetta Kellar @DanettaKellar

We establish who we are based upon so many things. Who our parents were, where we grew up, what job we have, what relationships we have. 

Thanksgiving, or lack of, often flows directly out of these foundational aspects of our identity.